24 Marriage Tidbits Sure to Improve Any Relationship

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Melinda and I recently spoke at a marriage conference, and during one of our segments, we shared this list of 24 Marriage Tidbits. A nugget for each year we’ve been married.

  1. Love is not a feeling. Love is a commitment. Look at your ring and remember to take action, love is the result of action.
  2. Always answer the phone when it’s your spouse.
  3. Make laughter the music score of your marriage. Your marriage is a picture film and laughter is the soundtrack.
  4. Model the kind of marriage that makes sons want to be a husband, and daughters want to be a wife.
  5. Don’t go to bed angry. When you think about saying nothing or something mean, choose nothing.
  6. Learn from other couples. Resist the temptation to compare with those you learn from.
  7. Marriage is not 50/50; marriage is 100/100. Divorce is 50/50.
  8. Remove the word divorce from your vocabulary.
  9. You get what you give. When you give awesome, you get awesome.
  10. There is no “right way” to parent. We find the longer people parent, the less expertise they think they have.
  11. No secrets. No lies. Lies break trust. Secrets disrupt intimacy.
  12. Prioritize your intimacy. It takes more than sex to have great sex.
  13. You can’t change your spouse … only God can change people. Instead be the greatest encourager. Make certain you are wiping tears and not creating them.
  14. Keep the Trolls away by always wearing your wedding ring.
  15. Be in it for the long run. Forget what society says about marriage.
  16. Be the first to apologize. When you are wrong be quick as you can to ask for forgiveness, make it right and carry on.
  17. Set your conscience to live without offense toward your spouse. And if trust is broken offer forgiveness.
  18. Strong couples are usually comprised of one strong spouse and one not so strong spouse, at the exact same time.
  19. No dark humor. Sarcastic competitiveness will hurt feelings, always. And outing you’re spouse to friends or online is foolish.
  20. If it’s God today it will be God tomorrow. Not everything needs to be discussed tonight.
  21. Speak to the King in your man, and the Queen in your woman. The world treats them like fools everyday.
  22. Don’t feed the emotional leftovers to the one who loves you most. Give the TV dinners to the dogs in your life.
  23. Surround yourself with people who strengthen your marriage. Cut ties with those who don’t. Get connected in a faith community. No community is more pro-marriage than the local church!
  24. Use a lot of SALT: Solve. Advise. Listen. Talk. In communication tell our spouse exactly what you need. If you need a solution ask for it. If you need them to listen ask that confidently. That way, you don’t get advise you don’t want, or a just listening when you really need a solution.

A reporter asked a couple married 65 years, “How have you managed to stay married that long?” Her reply, “We were born in a time when, if something is broken you fix it, not throw it away.”

We’ve found this list to be great life lessons; ones that we use to keep our relationship strong. We hope you’ve found it be helpful, too.

Perhaps you have a marriage nugget or question? Please comment below.