Melinda and I recently spoke at a marriage conference, and during one of our segments, we shared this list of 24 Marriage Tidbits. A nugget for each year weve been married.
- Love is not a feeling. Love is a commitment. Look at your ring and remember to take action, love is the result of action.
- Always answer the phone when its your spouse.
- Make laughter the music score of your marriage. Your marriage is a picture film and laughter is the soundtrack.
- Model the kind of marriage that makes sons want to be a husband, and daughters want to be a wife.
- Dont go to bed angry. When you think about saying nothing or something mean, choose nothing.
- Learn from other couples. Resist the temptation to compare with those you learn from.
- Marriage is not 50/50; marriage is 100/100. Divorce is 50/50.
- Remove the word divorce from your vocabulary.
- You get what you give. When you give awesome, you get awesome.
- There is no right way to parent. We find the longer people parent, the less expertise they think they have.
- No secrets. No lies. Lies break trust. Secrets disrupt intimacy.
- Prioritize your intimacy. It takes more than sex to have great sex.
- You cant change your spouse only God can change people. Instead be the greatest encourager. Make certain you are wiping tears and not creating them.
- Keep the Trolls away by always wearing your wedding ring.
- Be in it for the long run. Forget what society says about marriage.
- Be the first to apologize. When you are wrong be quick as you can to ask for forgiveness, make it right and carry on.
- Set your conscience to live without offense toward your spouse. And if trust is broken offer forgiveness.
- Strong couples are usually comprised of one strong spouse and one not so strong spouse, at the exact same time.
- No dark humor. Sarcastic competitiveness will hurt feelings, always. And outing youre spouse to friends or online is foolish.
- If its God today it will be God tomorrow. Not everything needs to be discussed tonight.
- Speak to the King in your man, and the Queen in your woman. The world treats them like fools everyday.
- Dont feed the emotional leftovers to the one who loves you most. Give the TV dinners to the dogs in your life.
- Surround yourself with people who strengthen your marriage. Cut ties with those who dont. Get connected in a faith community. No community is more pro-marriage than the local church!
- Use a lot of SALT: Solve. Advise. Listen. Talk. In communication tell our spouse exactly what you need. If you need a solution ask for it. If you need them to listen ask that confidently. That way, you don’t get advise you don’t want, or a just listening when you really need a solution.
A reporter asked a couple married 65 years, How have you managed to stay married that long? Her reply, We were born in a time when, if something is broken you fix it, not throw it away.
Weve found this list to be great life lessons; ones that we use to keep our relationship strong. We hope youve found it be helpful, too.
Perhaps you have a marriage nugget or question? Please comment below.